When we see a problem, we feel some degree of fear or anger, which pushes the brain toward fight-or-flight and makes us more interested in being right than in being curious. The reliable symptom is a problem framed as externally created — and therefore only externally solvable. Taking 100% responsibility is the move that converts such a problem into one you can act on. It is not about blame, and it is not self-criticism. It is a search for leverage. ### **What I'm thinking about** 1. **The core prompt is one sentence** – *"I created this situation by…"* Written before any solution is proposed. 2. **The unlocking question when you're stuck** – *"If I wanted to get myself into the exact same position that you are in now, what steps would I have to take?"* This works because it sidesteps the defensiveness of "what did you do wrong" and asks a mechanical question instead. 3. **There is a full question set behind it** – Fifteen prompts, of which the sharpest are: *What do you have to be right about? What do you withhold, and from whom? What do you not face? What are you trying to control that is not in your control? What behaviours do you do or not do to keep the issue in place? What do you have to be afraid of?* 4. **It usually reveals the childhood pattern** – The optional deeper step is to trace when the pattern first appeared, on the theory that it was an adaptive response for a child and is no longer useful to an adult. The closing prompt: *"The long-standing pattern this reminds me of is…"* 5. **It also disarms the other party** – A stated contribution of your own makes it very hard for the other person to stay defensive, which is why the source recommends it as the second line of every written issue. ### **So what?** Embedding this into the [[Issue, Proposed Solution]] format is what makes it a habit rather than an occasional insight. Every issue raised carries three lines, and the middle one is *what I did to help create this situation*. It is the most-skipped step in the whole method and the highest-yield one. A problem framed as someone else's produces solutions that depend on someone else changing. A problem with an identified personal contribution — even a small one, even just "I noticed this three weeks ago and said nothing" — almost always has a lever attached. Related: [[The Drama Triangle]] [[Issue, Proposed Solution]] [[Clean Escalation]] [[Conscious Leadership]] [[Personal Principles]] [[Executive Operating System MOC]]