Onism is the ache I feel when I think about the world I’ll never fully grasp, the paths I never walked. It’s the memory of standing at a crossroads, wondering what might have been if I had chosen differently. What if I had stayed in India, lived through its rhythms and stories, instead of venturing to the UK for my education? What if I had taken a leap to the U.S. instead, chasing a different version of myself entirely? And then, there’s that dream of becoming a dancer—of feeling every movement as a conversation between my body and the music. Now, it lives only as a shadow in my mind, a quiet reminder of a part of myself that might have flourished in a different life. But these lost opportunities are more than regrets; they are lanterns, casting a glow on the path I walk now. They shape how I see the world, reminding me that there’s always more to discover, more to strive for. It’s not about lamenting the paths I didn’t take but using them to guide the choices I make today. What I didn't do in the past doesn’t diminish my present; it makes me more aware, more eager to embrace the moments that come my way. They remind me of what truly matters, what sparks my curiosity, and what I am willing to work for as I build the life I’ve chosen. Carrying this awareness, though, comes with a weight—one that’s heavy and unshakeable. It’s the burden of wanting to make my mark, to create something that’s uniquely mine. It’s that constant whisper urging me to do something remarkable, to leave a trace in this world that won’t easily be forgotten. Sometimes, this desire feels like pressure, a reminder that time is always moving, that my impact is still unwritten. But with that pressure comes joy—a joy that comes from knowing each step I take, each effort I make, brings me closer to becoming the person I aspire to be. Because in chasing this vision, in striving to become a better version of myself, I know I’m growing. I realize that making my mark isn’t just about the end result but about the act of becoming—about everything I learn along the way, the people I meet, the small victories that matter deeply to me, even if no one else sees them. It’s the thrill of taking a chance, of following a passion even when I’m unsure of where it will lead. In those moments, the burden lightens, turning into a quiet satisfaction that I’m at least trying, that I’m alive to my own potential. **So What?** Onism has taught me that while I can’t live every possible life, I can make the one I’m living truly mine. The paths I didn’t take serve as markers, reminding me that each day is a choice—a chance to move closer to the dreams that still matter to me. It’s not about dwelling on what could have been but about letting those possibilities fuel a sense of purpose. So, I embrace the lanterns of the past and the weight of my ambitions. I let them light my way forward, guiding me through the unknown with a sense of wonder, with a commitment to become more than I was yesterday. Because in the end, it’s my journey toward a better self that makes all the difference. ---- ![[Private/Holding Media/A4 - 2 (1).svg]]