A three-step protocol for cleaning up something you have just said or done badly — in the moment, in front of the person it landed on. What separates it from an apology is the third step. ### **What I'm thinking about** 1. **Repair** – Acknowledge four things in order: what I did; the damage it caused; that I did not intend to cause that damage; and a commitment not to repeat it, phrased as *"From now on in that situation, I will…"* 2. **Rewind** – Say it out loud: *"Now, I'd like to go back in time and do it the way I plan on doing it from now on."* 3. **Redo** – Actually perform the statement or the action again, in the new way, there and then. 4. **The Redo is the whole idea** – An apology acknowledges. This replaces. The other person doesn't just hear that you regret the thing; they watch you demonstrate that you can do it differently, which is the only evidence that the commitment in step one is real. 5. **It works because intent is invisible** – Most damage in working relationships comes from the gap between what was meant and what was received. Explicitly stating "I did not intend to cause that damage" closes a gap the other person cannot close on their own. ### **So what?** Most people's repertoire for this is a vague apology later, by message, which is the worst available option: it's delayed, it's asynchronous so you can't see how it lands, and it leaves the original behaviour as the last observed data point. Doing it immediately and in person costs about ninety seconds and is one of the few moves that can leave a relationship stronger than it was before the mistake. The awkwardness of asking to rewind is real and much smaller than the cost of leaving it. Related: [[Shifting Out of Fear and Anger]] [[Making People Feel Heard]] [[Praise Earns the Right to Critique]] [[Impeccable Agreements]] [[Executive Operating System MOC]]